Category: love


Winter Song- Ingrid Michaelson

so what if its Spring.
Its still feels like Winter in my heart.

I think I’ll dedicate this song to Sheila. ūüôā
The actual video is really cute. You should youtube it. For some reason it wouldn’t play when i tried to put it into the post.

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Blessed

2 am seems to be the most appropriate time for a post. I dont know why I’m up at this hour. I should probably do something more productive with my time.

Or I should just write a post.¬† ūüôā

I’ve been thinking.
Just thinking. About¬† myself… and where I think life’s taking me. Actually where God’s taking me. Its so hard to hold on sometimes. But he just shows up and gives you a promise for a better tomorrow. Better than today. Better than every yesterday thats gone by.
And I don’t understand WHY I dont give more of myself to a God who actually has a plan!
I mean.. I have no plan. I started out thinking I wanted to be a princess. *when I was 7* and then I wanted to be a movie star.. and later a doctor.. and now..I don’t really know.
All I know is I’m following a dream. Not just my dream. Its God’s dream too… for me.

yeah, God dreams. I didn’t learn that till a couple of days ago.

and sometimes He gives you a tiny little glimpse of what dream is and you go wild thinking HOW? How can it be possible? Why pick me?
But that dream…
*sigh* What a dream it is!

This past week has been one of innocent aspirations, budding hope, tiny victories and a great big GOD!

I wish I could be a little more open about things but this just isn’t the right place.
When you meet me next and I’m walking around with a smile on my face just remember Joy is contagious. ūüôā

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

All set for a fabulous weekend,
Enit

Gearing up for Change

The Festival of Life 08′ is over. I spent four days living on the grounds at BKC and being at home by myself instead of with that mad bunch of people i call friends feels so strange. no more grabbing a bite at the Petrol pump.No more VIP passes and fighting for seats and running to get a good view of the band. No more jumping and dancing till we couldn’t feel our legs. no more laughing like nuts with Violet. No more hugs from Josh..

Josh leaves today and I feel terrible that I didnt meet him enough. He was here for more than a month and I only met him for like 5 days in all!  Argh!!! Why do people have to leave?! i hate it. Cant everyone just stay in one place?

Dont remind me. I know I have to leave too! Do you think its easy counting the months?

I’ve never connected with a place as much as I have with this city. This place is my life. I cannot imagine a day when I have wake up to a place that sounds *and smells* nothing like this. If I had my way, I wouldnt move at all. I wouldnt pack up and leave behind everything that I love. I want to see my dear little Noah grow up and go to school. I want to sit down and help him with his homework. I want to be able to call Oscar at whatever time and bug him with my problems..even though most of the times he’s least interested. ūüôā
walk around Bandra for hours with Sheila.

But like all good things…

I did it once. I can do it again.
It takes a while to get used to change.. but hopefully I will find people once again who will be my strength through those tough times.
But above all, I put my trust in God.
He’s the only who knows what He’s doing. ūüôā

I still think the world would be cooler if EVERYONE lived within five minutes of each other.
Anyone know how to fill up those huge water bodies?

Moments

Moments with you
Just memories now

You walked away
I’m waiting still

You say you’ve not changed
But I know the truth

I still want those moments with you.
 

It’s still so difficult to believe that this year is coming to an end. There were a lot of things that went wrong this year and I could go on about it but I’ve learnt the blessing that comes with thanksgiving and the joy that it brings the Father’s heart. My list of reasons to thank will come probably by the end of the year. Still believing for something phenomenal!

I was so blessed at worship practice today. I think of the five years I’ve spent under Shannon’s leadership. We’ve grown up from being a team of people who barely knew how to spell music… to being a family of people who love God and want to see Him glorified. Music is something that flows from a place of knowing him. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have to leave this little family of mine…
Today was so beautiful. As we worshipped we were reminded of the love of God. Love so pure and true. Love that does not demand. Love that never condemns… but always accepts. And then Shannon spoke to us on being like little children. I was sitting there almost jumping out of my seat because he was sharing on the same lines as the post I had put up earlier.
There’s something about children that’s so irresistible. They think from their heart. Not their head. That’s why its easier for them to trust and love. The heart and the head. That’s the difference between a Pharisee and a little child.
Guess who got to heaven! ūüėÄ

This will be my last month at my current job. After that, well… not too sure right now. But I’m praying that I would be led to right place and in a job that’s more…um… Me.
This job was fun. I love my colleagues and my managers. There were a few annoying people but then… they’re everywhere. They’re probably taking over the world or something. Lol. But it’s not what I really want to do. Too personal to talk about on a blog.

I’ve been in that weird phase where a lot of couples around me are expecting a baby or are waiting to get married and that sort of sends me into that crazy mood where I’m complaining about the fact that I’m not married yet. Its crazy coz’ the moment Mom even brings up the topic, I run out of the room screaming that I’m staying single till I’m 30. I can’t explain it. Maybe I just enjoy upsetting my mom. What kind of sadist am I?

Countdown…

24 days to Christmas
21 days till I’m unemployed again.
27 days *fingers crossed* till Sheila gets here.

December is here.
 

Life, Love and Friendship

Its been a while since my last post. And I havent come up with any convincing excuses, so Im not going to bother.¬† ūüôā
This past week has been really busy. Dad was home for about 10 days but I didnt get as much time with him as I would’ve wanted. Work and church and my keyboard. Im lost somewhere in the middle of these three.

Yes, My keyboard has finally begun to see the light of day. This time its because I want to. No one’s forcing me. My parents arent threatening me. Nothing..
Something I want to keep with me. I love singing along while Im playing. I always thought that was complicated. To really sing while playing.. But its not that bad.. and Eventually if I get good at this, Maybe Ill pick up the guitar or something. Who knows?
Life seems full of possibilties now.

I watched ‘A Walk to Remember’ again. What a beautiful movie.. Although¬†I thought Mandy Moore was annoying. The movie was just… perfect. Its so important to just¬†wait sometimes. Love will find you¬†in the most unexpected places.¬†
‘A Walk to Remember’ is going down on my list of books.¬†

Speaking of lists, Im going to sit¬†down and make a list of everything I want to do or see in¬†my life. Lol..¬†Maybe the movie inspired me¬†more than I¬†thought it did. And I believe that desires don’t go unfulfilled when you partner with a Father like mine.

Like the way he brings old friends back. The right time. Perfect way.

Contemplating the beauty of life, love and friendship,
Enit

 

My blog seems to have become stagnant .. mostly coz’ the only thing I’ve been doing is changing the theme..Sometimes I wish I could do that to my room. I get bored very easily. Which is another reason I choose to remain single. I dont want anyone blaming me for getting disinterested four months into the relationship.
Relationships have been a hot topic these past couple of weeks. (I’ve lost some weight, so people arent talking about that much) But look around. *Almost* everyone is getting into one.. without thinking of the consequences. Without thinking of what it could lead to in a couple of years. I know that at the moment it seems like the best thing to do. But then all the unnecessary lying and the hiding and the eating out and getting fat. Do you really need all that? DO you have the money??!!!! Relationships are an expensive investment and if you’re with someone like me then expect that I’m gonna ask for gifts at the drop of a hat and you cant get away with a card or flowers. Send them to your mom. I want clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, books!!! Hopefully with that I’ve scared some people away. *I will not mention any names*

Moving on to new topic…
I went street¬†shopping yesterday with Oscar. And I came home with pretty good bargains. My new ‘genie’ pants are really cute. my white flip flops are neat too. Just one problem.. the other sandals I bought.. well, I was so busy bringing the rates down to like¬† 100 bucks that I didnt check what he had given me until after I got home two hours later and thats when Mom noticed that the shoes he had given me were both of the same feet! Sheesh. I know he wasnt trying to con me on purpose.. He’ll never be able to sell the other pair until I go back there and get an exchange done. Aiyoo!! Me and shopping usually never go well together!!Especially street shopping.

And oscar got¬†a compliment yesterday.. One guy at some shop told him that He bargains ‘better’ than girls. Read He’s more chindi. LOL

Its the middle of November and its still so darn hot!
So…

I should know who I am by now
I walk the record stand somehow
Thinkin’ of winter
The name is the splinter inside me
While I wait

And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you

But I don’t have to make this mistake
And I don’t have to stay this way
If only I would wake

The walk has all been cleared by now
Your voice is all I hear somehow
Calling out winter
Your voice is the splinter inside me
While I wait

And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don’t have to make this mistake
And I don’t have to stay this way
If only I would wake

I could have lost myself
In rough blue waters in your eyes
And I miss you still

Oh I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don’t have to make this mistake
And I don’t have to stay this way
If only I would wake


‘Winter’ by Joshua Radin.
My way of ushering Winter in.

From KSA-3

I got tired of all the white and blue themes I was using for the last few months. I think black describes my current mood. And red just adds the zing I need.

*read what I just wrote and burst out laughing* I dont think I understood any of that…

Ok.. so I dont really have a reason for switching to this black and red theme.. Wish I had a car in those shades for when I go racing with that cool car gang in Borivali..

¬†Anyway, getting on to more.. impor.. uh… Stuff.

Three days in Saudi.. already feels like forever. I really am in the mood to complain. But I’m going to¬†control myself for now.

Coming here after here one year…gets me thinking¬†bout a lot that happened last year..around this time.. The room where I saw my uncle alive for the last time. I had pushed all memory of him out of my mind because I couldnt stand the pain anymore. I couldnt bear to watch Neil wasting away. It broke me inside… a family completely destroyed. My cousin lives like an orphan these days. I heard stories of how he’d wake up each morning upset because he hadnt died in his sleep.. that he had to face another day. I shut my mind to these stories… part of me hoping I’ll wake up from the nightmare while part of me wants to hold on to it.

I think of all Dad has been through in the last one year… he’s suffered so much these last few months that he cant sleep most nights. Lonelinessn eats away at him. And what can I do? I come here… and I wonder if in some way I’ve given him something to be happy about. Praying and waiting for his breakthrough.

The responsibility of a parent.. I never thought about it until I got this job. how hard I have to work just to get money. How to make that money last for awhile.Pay the bills. Set some aside as savings… the whole time giving the kids¬† what they ask for..How do they do it?¬†

I listen to more stories at the office.. I look at the happy smiling faces of my colleaugues. Each has a story.. a struggle. Some living far away from home.. visiting family only once a year for a few weeks.

I hope that someday I’ll make a good parent. One thing I’ve always wanted was to be around kids. I didnt think it was all that difficult but watching my cousin with my nephew.. Parenting is such a tough job! and you dont get paid.. well, atleast for a really long time! ūüėõ¬†
You have to¬†be extra careful what you speak in front of them… what you do. They¬†pick up the tiniest details. For instance,¬†
what Noah loves saying to anyone he’s annoyed with- Shut up. He’s¬†only 2!!!¬†Who taught him that???¬†Dont look at me. It wasnt me!!¬†He says¬†that constantly…¬†
This one conversation that really had me laughing for hours-

NoahР*singing King of majesty out loud* Nu dat dat I love you.. Nu dat dat I love you. *just one line over and over again*

my Mom– *trying to help him out a little bit* No, baby.. thats not how it goes.. Its “You know that I love you.. You know that I want to know you…”

NoahР*without wasting any time* Ammachi *grandmother* Shut up!!
You should’ve seen the look on Mom’s face. Poor Ma.¬†but ahh..¬†what a¬†moment that¬†was…¬†

I’ll stop here. Its almost¬†1 a.m saudi time¬†and I still live according to¬†Indian time which means its really late.
Oh the joy of not having to get to work in the morning!!

 

Thought for the Day

A woman’s heart¬†should be so hidden in God that a man must seek Him to find her.

Thankyou Celeste

Waiting

Someday I would like to meet Eve and ask her how she knew Adam was the One! I mean there were so many other beasts there.. How did she know Adam was the only one meant for her?
Thats how most of us go thru life.. We hang out with the goats, the pigs, the dogs hoping to find our Mr. Right!
Falling in love is something I think about almost everyday.. I wonder how its going to happen.. who its going to be.. Im willing to be surprised.. even Shocked!!
 And thats why I would rather wait For him than be with someone who I dont belong with. Sometimes that is a really tough decision to make but I know In the long run.. I will be happier because I chose to wait!