I don’t know how to deal with everything that is coming up. Every story is my story. Everything is a trigger and it all leaves me feeling overwhelmed. Because I didn’t get a chance to end it for myself. I wanted justice. I wanted to let them know how it felt to be hurt, what it felt like to be helpless and alone. But its too late now and I all I can do is feel so frustrated and miserable. I feel like its breaking me. I can’t stop it. I need to control it all. I need it all in a box stored away where I can’t reach at it. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

I don’t want to feel guilty for being alive.

I just want some justice. I want closure. I want it to stop being my fault. I want to stop blaming my parents. I want to stop. just stop.

Does anyone hear me? Can anyone understand?