Night time is becoming distinctly difficult. I cannot seem to escape the multitude of thoughts, emotions etc etc floating around in my head. There is so much that I fear about the future, even though I know that trusting God means giving him everything including those insecurities that in comparison to him are not even big enough to be considered specks of dust.

I miss church. I miss everything about it and a part of me wants to make every decision based on how close I can get to my home church and yet…

I know that there is a time and a season. I just don’t know what my time is or what season I’m in right now. The answer is out there… He knows. I know He knows and I know He cares. So shouldn’t that somehow make everything alright and perfect?

I have these big, giant dreams and then I see myself for who I really am and I find that I fall so short of those dreams. Like an ant looking up at a mountain. I wish I could see myself as capable… that I could look at myself and know that I have what it takes.

I need God. Period.