– I have so many thoughts running through my head all day, every day and I really must pen at least some of them down. Not all since… well that would just not be a very good idea.

– Most of my Christian life was spent trying to be good and along with that came an accusing, judgmental view of everyone who was not ‘right’. Recently, I sat back and thought about how I had judged several people for their lifestyle, their opinions, their choices, class, race, gender, age, sexuality etc etc when really there is no reason for me to judge. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, Who Am I? And who said that I could ever sit back on my high throne and judge the rest of the world like I was made from a different, more superior mud? If anything, I have made far more mistakes and have had several regrets and a staggering number of failures. So, I just wanted to say, that whoever you are, whatever you choose to do with your life is your business. It is between you and God. I have no say in the matter. I choose not to judge you based on my own prejudices and personal system of beliefs and if you still feel like I am tell me. Because I know that the worst moments in my life are not while making the decision or a mistake, its feeling judged after.

– In 2 weeks, I will be on Indian soil and that leaves me, at all times of the day or night, restless and unable to sleep. I dream about it when I am sleeping, I am constantly making lists of things to take with me and then seperate lists of what to bring back. It is driving me insane!! Part of me is afraid that once I am there, everyone will be busy working or studying. Which leaves me at the mercy of my family and while I love them dearly, I really am not ready to discuss the one topic that I know is on their minds. “A suitable boy for me and how to attain him” a.k.a A.S.B.F.M.A.H.T.A.H. I get it… as my family, you are worried for me and you want to see me happy. But give me a chance at discovering myself first. I feel like I don’t know me at all. I am just understanding what sort of person I am.. Just barely. I am not yet completely independent and until I find myself.. I can’t commit to being in something as momentous as marriage. It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. I always have… But those were silly flighty dreams of a schoolgirl. I don’t know Christine the woman yet.So back off, let me breathe and no one will be hurt.

– I had some store credit from a bad purchase last year and I put it to some good use today. πŸ™‚ I love shopping!

– I really want to paint my toe nails some deep dark color but thinking of spending money that I don’t have on nail paint and other such fancy thingsΒ  makes me a little sad.

– I spent a considerable amount of time at the bookstore today. So many books that I wanted to read and buy and gift… I want:
Emily Giffin’s books – ‘Love the one you’re with’ and ‘Baby Proof’
‘Twenties Girl’ – Sophie Kinsella
‘Secrets of a Shoe Addict: a novel’ – Harbison Beth
‘Confession of an Ugly Stepsister’ – Gregory Maguire
The Gatecrasher: a novel’ – Madeleine Wickham (Spohie Kinsella)
‘The book of Negroes’ – Lawrence Hill
‘I love you, Beth Cooper’ – Larry Doyle
‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ – Philippa Gregory
I also want to re-read ‘The Time Traveller’s Wife’.. I loved that book.
*sigh* Again, this no money situation really really sucks.

– Back to school in a month and a half. Yay!

– Just a shout out to Niki. She’s got a great blog that I really enjoy reading. I know you will too. This means you Shee. πŸ™‚

– I will home in 2 weeks! Did I say that already? Ah, who cares! Home! To my bed, to my walls, to my cupboard, to my Justin, my ‘rents and my Noah. πŸ˜€

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