This week has been the strangest of all. Explain how in spite of all the good things that happened, I was pretty low for most of the time.I wasn’t sad. It was more dissatisfaction.
Suddenly everything I dislike and criticize in others was so evident in me.. Superficiality, Immaturity, Obsession, petty jealousy..
I hate shallow people. I hate pride.
But somehow this week I felt like I was all of that and much more.

I know.. Feelings are the last thing I should rely on.

I feel like I’m overdoing it, you know. Like I need to sit down and be quiet for a while.
Not talk. not laugh. Just be still. Be a little less like me.

Every time I tried doing that in the past, people thought i was upset or angry or that I lost a bet.

But no. I just don’t want to be my usual anymore.
I want to be like everyone else.
Not stand out anymore. Blend in. Go unnoticed.
Not seek approval or attention from people.

Maybe I need to get away from the city. No phone calls.No messages.No friends
Just me, my bible and God.