I wonder what this year holds. I was just waiting for 07′ to end coz’ frankly.. not one of my favorites. made the worst mistakes, lost friends, final year of college, problems at home, no sense of direction.. So i was pretty much tired and waiting for it to end.

A New Year…
New hopes. A clean slate. Time to forget the past and start new.

Well, thats what I thought…

I usually make the mistake of judging the year according to the first day. I don’t know how I got the idea that the 1st of Jan represents the whole year ahead coz’ as far as I can remember 01.01.07 was great! But the rest of the year… not worth mentioning.

And today was good. Did have its moments. But overall… depressing.
So if the theory worked the other way, does that mean this year will be good??

I think its being around some people. (No names…to protect me)
You look at some people and wonder if they’re ever really going to change.The same problems. The same complaining. Dissatisfaction.
Is it that difficult to stop holding onto something thats a million years old and to stop bringing it up in every conversation? Why make my life miserable?
I look back over the year and the “casualties of the war” around me and it saddens me and scares me at the same time. Who’s next? Why wont it stop? I hate feeling like things are not going to work out.

Because somewhere deep down I know it is. I know Prayer works. It takes a while sometimes. But it does work. I hate being afraid. And I don’t want my life to be run by fear of any kind. I know the choice lies in my hands. And somehow that’s not very comforting. I make the choices. I pay the price. I sow, I reap.

I hate knowing all this in theory and then not knowing how to actually put it into practise.. 

I am grateful though for certain rays of sunshine. I can talk to them about anything and they always help me see a new perspective and *almost* always manage to get the dimple back. Life is sweet just knowing they are a part of it.

I must end this here.

Looking heavenward,
Enit




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