I got tired of all the white and blue themes I was using for the last few months. I think black describes my current mood. And red just adds the zing I need.

*read what I just wrote and burst out laughing* I dont think I understood any of that…

Ok.. so I dont really have a reason for switching to this black and red theme.. Wish I had a car in those shades for when I go racing with that cool car gang in Borivali..

 Anyway, getting on to more.. impor.. uh… Stuff.

Three days in Saudi.. already feels like forever. I really am in the mood to complain. But I’m going to control myself for now.

Coming here after here one year…gets me thinking bout a lot that happened last year..around this time.. The room where I saw my uncle alive for the last time. I had pushed all memory of him out of my mind because I couldnt stand the pain anymore. I couldnt bear to watch Neil wasting away. It broke me inside… a family completely destroyed. My cousin lives like an orphan these days. I heard stories of how he’d wake up each morning upset because he hadnt died in his sleep.. that he had to face another day. I shut my mind to these stories… part of me hoping I’ll wake up from the nightmare while part of me wants to hold on to it.

I think of all Dad has been through in the last one year… he’s suffered so much these last few months that he cant sleep most nights. Lonelinessn eats away at him. And what can I do? I come here… and I wonder if in some way I’ve given him something to be happy about. Praying and waiting for his breakthrough.

The responsibility of a parent.. I never thought about it until I got this job. how hard I have to work just to get money. How to make that money last for awhile.Pay the bills. Set some aside as savings… the whole time giving the kids  what they ask for..How do they do it? 

I listen to more stories at the office.. I look at the happy smiling faces of my colleaugues. Each has a story.. a struggle. Some living far away from home.. visiting family only once a year for a few weeks.

I hope that someday I’ll make a good parent. One thing I’ve always wanted was to be around kids. I didnt think it was all that difficult but watching my cousin with my nephew.. Parenting is such a tough job! and you dont get paid.. well, atleast for a really long time! 😛 
You have to be extra careful what you speak in front of them… what you do. They pick up the tiniest details. For instance, 
what Noah loves saying to anyone he’s annoyed with- Shut up. He’s only 2!!! Who taught him that??? Dont look at me. It wasnt me!! He says that constantly… 
This one conversation that really had me laughing for hours-

Noah– *singing King of majesty out loud* Nu dat dat I love you.. Nu dat dat I love you. *just one line over and over again*

my Mom– *trying to help him out a little bit* No, baby.. thats not how it goes.. Its “You know that I love you.. You know that I want to know you…”

Noah– *without wasting any time* Ammachi *grandmother* Shut up!!
You should’ve seen the look on Mom’s face. Poor Ma. but ahh.. what a moment that was… 

I’ll stop here. Its almost 1 a.m saudi time and I still live according to Indian time which means its really late.
Oh the joy of not having to get to work in the morning!!

 

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