Archive for September, 2007

The Name

The Israelites considered the name too holy to be spoken by Human lips. Whenever they needed to say Yahweh, they substituted the word ‘Adonai’ which means “Lord”. If the name needed to written, the scribes would take a bath before they wrote it and destroy the pen afterward.God never gives a definition of the word Yahweh and Moses never asked for one. Many scholars wish he had, for the study of the name has raised some healthy discussions.

The name “I AM” sounds strikingly close to the Hebrew word “to be” –havah. It’s quite possibly a combination of the present tense form (I AM) and the causative tense (I cause to be). Yahweh then seems to mean “I AM” and “I Cause”. God is the “One who is’ and the “One who causes”.

Why is that important? Because w need a big God. And if God is the “One who is”, then He is an unchanging God.

Think about it. Do you know anyone who goes around saying “I am”? Neither do I. Whenever we say “I am” we always add another word. “I am happy,” “I am sad”, “I am strong”. God however starkly states, “I AM” and adds nothing else.

”You are what?” we want to ask. “I AM” he replies. God needs no descriptive word because he never changes. God is what He is. He is what he has always been. His immutability motivated the psalmist to declare “ But you never change” (Psalm 102:27) The writer is saying, “You are the One who is. You never change.” Yahweh is an unchanging God.

Traveling Light 

Max Lucado


We, the mules…

You’ve heard of God’s children referred to as sheep.
It isn’t a bad picture, all things considered. The image conjures up visions of green pastures, still waters and a gentle Shepherd, keeping watch over the flock.

But He also refers to us as mules.
Sometimes, I think that’s a better analogy.

Don’t be like a balky mule!
Don’t be stubborn when God speaks.
Don’t fight and continually  resist Him.
Don’t keep running away from Him so that He can’t speak to you.
Don’t force Him to lasso you before you’ll let Him draw near.

Why do we resist such a magnificent God who loves us so much?
It makes no sense.  

Wisdom for the Way
Charles Swindoll

I got tired of all the white and blue themes I was using for the last few months. I think black describes my current mood. And red just adds the zing I need.

*read what I just wrote and burst out laughing* I dont think I understood any of that…

Ok.. so I dont really have a reason for switching to this black and red theme.. Wish I had a car in those shades for when I go racing with that cool car gang in Borivali..

 Anyway, getting on to more.. impor.. uh… Stuff.

Three days in Saudi.. already feels like forever. I really am in the mood to complain. But I’m going to control myself for now.

Coming here after here one year…gets me thinking bout a lot that happened last year..around this time.. The room where I saw my uncle alive for the last time. I had pushed all memory of him out of my mind because I couldnt stand the pain anymore. I couldnt bear to watch Neil wasting away. It broke me inside… a family completely destroyed. My cousin lives like an orphan these days. I heard stories of how he’d wake up each morning upset because he hadnt died in his sleep.. that he had to face another day. I shut my mind to these stories… part of me hoping I’ll wake up from the nightmare while part of me wants to hold on to it.

I think of all Dad has been through in the last one year… he’s suffered so much these last few months that he cant sleep most nights. Lonelinessn eats away at him. And what can I do? I come here… and I wonder if in some way I’ve given him something to be happy about. Praying and waiting for his breakthrough.

The responsibility of a parent.. I never thought about it until I got this job. how hard I have to work just to get money. How to make that money last for awhile.Pay the bills. Set some aside as savings… the whole time giving the kids  what they ask for..How do they do it? 

I listen to more stories at the office.. I look at the happy smiling faces of my colleaugues. Each has a story.. a struggle. Some living far away from home.. visiting family only once a year for a few weeks.

I hope that someday I’ll make a good parent. One thing I’ve always wanted was to be around kids. I didnt think it was all that difficult but watching my cousin with my nephew.. Parenting is such a tough job! and you dont get paid.. well, atleast for a really long time! 😛 
You have to be extra careful what you speak in front of them… what you do. They pick up the tiniest details. For instance, 
what Noah loves saying to anyone he’s annoyed with- Shut up. He’s only 2!!! Who taught him that??? Dont look at me. It wasnt me!! He says that constantly… 
This one conversation that really had me laughing for hours-

Noah– *singing King of majesty out loud* Nu dat dat I love you.. Nu dat dat I love you. *just one line over and over again*

my Mom– *trying to help him out a little bit* No, baby.. thats not how it goes.. Its “You know that I love you.. You know that I want to know you…”

Noah– *without wasting any time* Ammachi *grandmother* Shut up!!
You should’ve seen the look on Mom’s face. Poor Ma. but ahh.. what a moment that was… 

I’ll stop here. Its almost 1 a.m saudi time and I still live according to Indian time which means its really late.
Oh the joy of not having to get to work in the morning!!


From KSA-2

I have a sudden urge to blog every couple of hours.. maybe its coz’ I’m so disconnected from everyone else back home.

Home… Sound strange sometimes to describe India that way. Growing up, I could not tolerate long vacations in India.. it was humid and dirty, and people always seemed like they were looking down on you. All we did was visit a lot of relatives most of whom I wouldnt know if I passed them on the street. It also meant Archies.. Loads and loads of Archies.

That was India. and today I couldnt bear to think of Saudi as home. I can tolerate it for a while. but then I have to go home..back to freedom, back to walking around the city, back to colours other than black, back to church, back to college/work… back to my friends. Home. My land.

Anyone in the mood to get up and sing Vande mataram? 🙂

I am discovering some cool things about Saudi though.. Like even on a busy road, the men will stop their cars just to let a woman cross.. I checked this to see if mom was just making it up.. I tried to confuse this one driver by pretending to cross and then turning back like I didnt know whether I should.. and the poor guy stopped and waited patiently for me to make up my mind. He didnt even give me a dirty stare.
Nice. I like that. I feel powerful.

Justin got a chance to drive Dad’s new Corolla. He looked so happy behind that wheel. Not having to bother with gears. I think he’d pick up a job in saudi as a driver just to be able to drive at a 120. Men! 

At times like this… I think of how quickly we grow up. I dont even remember a lot of my childhood anymore…I dont think I ever imagined that justin would drive or I’d have a job. All we cared about was cartoon and books and strange games we made up to amuse ourselves… like everyday I’d pretend to be a world famous cook and bake potatoes or dress Justin up in my clothes… for some reasons he seems to have wiped out every instance of that from his mind… oh for lack of a digicam!

Doesnt life seem to be picking up speed? I’m almost 21… and it just doesnt feel right.

Shouldnt I be dressing up for school at 6 tomorrow? I wonder what Mom’s going to put in my lunchbox? I hope there’s something with chocolate… mmm.. I have to figure out a way to get Justin to give me his icecream tomorrow. Which trick should I use tomorrow? Didnt dad promise to take us to the zoo this weekend?? I have to whine the whole week or he might forget..

And life goes on…


From KSA-1

I’m here. Safe and Sound. Trying to think of how to get thru this week… without putting on anymore weight. Quite a difficult task.

Sometimes I think I’m a little too obsessed with my weight. Maybe I am. But I cant help it. Its on top of everyone’s list… Just before marriage.

I’ve managed to argue with one person about the whole marraige issue and dowry thing. how ancient can you get? Dowry? Its illegal!!! Doesnt anyone know that??!! Sheesh. The whole marriage thing pisses me off coz’ i feel like no one’s asking me what I want.. how I want to get married..Who I want to get married to.. blah blah…

Sometimes I think I know who he is… Atleast thats who I want it to be.. is there a difference?

Another thing that really really leaves me with a horrible taste in my mouth is Men who stare… They look into my eyes for a while and then all of a sudden they’re.. um.. not.
 Disgusting. Even worse when they’re older and related to you. *blech*

Anyway, I’m starting to sound a little depressing..
I’ll be off now.

have i mentioned my brother is really annoying??!! He’s sitting here breathing into my ear! brat. 😛

how am i going to manage two weeks.. just him n me in M’bai???

Signing off,
Princess of Enitland

p.s- Our Indian Cricket is AWESOME!!! I love Cricket!!! wOOhoooooooOOOOOOoooOOOooooOooooo!!!!!

I leave for Saudi tonight! I am so excited… mainly because I get a week off from work. 😀
I never knew work could be so tiring… All I do is sit around and goof off. Pretty much like College except I get paid!Ahh.. the simple joys of life! 🙂

One thing I will not miss is the Rain. Can you believe its still raining here?!!! Its the LAST week of Sept… It shouldnt be raining now. The skies are confused. Maybe they run on a different calendar.

It was raining so hard this morning that the usual 10 min trip from home to the office took me almost 40 mins.. I had to walk for a while and then got onto a bus while managing to almost lose one shoe in the process.
*Do I always have to do such strange things in public??*

I did my first recording on Monday. Pretty exciting.. The only thing is.. I put on a really bad accent when I sang the first time.. Its not my fault. I was singing along with Marty Sampson. 😛 But it doesnt sound all that bad with music.

Oscar had a bike accident on Monday night. Scared the hell out of me. But he’s fine. If he hadnt worn that helmet… Too scary to think about. I’m just glad he’s safe.
Make sure to give him a call.

There’s so much i want to write about. Its just that sometimes a blog just might not be the best of places. My emotions are diving me up the wall.. I cry when I should happy. Laugh when I should cry. Anyone else going thru something simlar??

It will probably be a while before I can put up a post. I will miss my blog.

See y’all in a week

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Another interesting Sunday

Yesterday was awesome! From the beginning of the service to the end. Simply amazing.

excpet for one thing…I managed to make a total fool out of myself! 

King of Fools is starting to make sense now. hahaha
Pastor was praying for people and we had to keep running around to make sure that the people who were being prayed over didnt fall to the ground. Stand behind them and gently lay them on the floor. Simple enough.
So there I was behind this lady who was.. a little *ahem* well built.. Me and Tejal stood right behind her. She fell. On top of me. I had to struggle for awhile under her. I was so embarrassed that I even considered pretending I was hit by the presence of God. But I already had such a goofy smile on my face. It had to be me. I got out from under her in one piece.. I am so sure Tejal is going to be telling everyone this story for years.
*Why God, Why??* My back still hurts.

Got back home and sat down to finish watching the final episodes of LOST. *thank you Yusuf* And it left me kind of depressed. not what I expected. Still looking forward to the next season though.

My braces should be coming off in about 3 months. Has to be the best news I’ve heard in months. I dont even remember what I looked like a year ago.. 😛
My china doll face! I cant wait.

To everyone who was sweet enough to wish me for my birthday.. Its not for a couple of weeks. I decided to complain a little early this year. Thanks anyway! 🙂


blah Blah..Blah…

          Last night, I saw my first Twenty20 Cricket match between India and South Africa… and what a match!! I have no idea who most of the players are but they are so good!! Definitely the best match I’ve seen in a while *I missed Yuvraj’s super game the night before* I think these guys have proved that they can win with or without the oldies. I say ‘Out with the Old and in with the young’ These guys are so much better at the game. Gives you a reason to actually waste time and watch it.
I feel kinda bad for
South Africa coz’ they didn’t even make it to the Semis.. Oh well.
I can’t wait for
India’s match against Australia this Sat.
*Go India*

          The past two weeks have been filled with the strangest kind of dreams and what with all the ‘You’re old enough to get married’ talk… I’m really starting to freak out…
Am I really that old?
Doesn’t life just begin at 21?
Somebody help me out here…

          My 21st Birthday and I’m going to be all alone. Someone decided it would be a good idea to start with college exams on the Day and keep them going on for two weeks until I’m so bored that I don’t want to celebrate anymore. My mom and Dad will be in Saudi. Justin will be busy preparing for his exams and He doesn’t exactly celebrate with me… Its more like.. Oh birthday. Good.. What’s to eat?
I miss Sheila. Even Yusuf isn’t going to be there.

           I want Cheesecake to drown my sorrows…

           Back to work,

Monday Morning.

Monday morning and I’m back at work.
Had a great weekend though.
Bought something for Dad with my own money! Feels great. Hope he likes it.

I like shopping for other people. Its fun to think of what they’d like or what they’d look good in. *sigh* reminds me of that gorgeous leather jacket I wanted to buy for…

Anyway, I helped Justin pick out stuff. I help him look civilized! 😀 You can thank me later Justin…

Yesterday, I made Banana Nut bread… really yummy. I’m so proud of myself. There is still some hope for me.

Have 10 days left before I get to Saudi. I am really looking forward to this. The luxury of sleeping in late, staying up late and reading, shopping, no buses, no rickshaws, no trains. No WORK! True bliss. J
And since it’s only for a week I’ll be home before I start to miss Mumbai too much.

Less than a month left for my 21st b’day. Had a lot of plans… but turns out the “kids” are busy with exams. Oh well. More cake for me.

I was so amazed at what Pastor shared yesterday. Something I’ve been reading for years but it never struck me. Jesus speaks to the people telling them not to worry about anything because God will take care of them. Then he made this statement-
“It is the Father’s responsibility to take care of the needs of the family. He will do just that.”
What a relief. We are so stupid to actually sit and brood over things.

Back to work.