I have to say it out loud.

I’m scared. Terribly scared of the future and what I’m going to do.  

I mean.. I’ve been thinking of this Canada thing for over a year now and I think its a great idea.
I’ve prayed. God spoke. I heard.

Then, Why am I still afraid?

Its just that going there means that I’ll suddenly be on my own. And thats never happened before.
I wasn’t scared when I moved to Mumbai 8 years ago.. I had Mom and Justin with me.

but now.. I’ll be on my own.


I dont know if I can handle that kind of responsibilty.

If I mess up.. I’m done for. Completely done for.

And then there’s the whole.. What If i didnt hear right? What if God was saying something totally different the whole time.

But deep down I know He wants me to go there. He has something for me there. Something that I have to do.

I hate moving. Always have. Even if it was just moving across the street.

moving to a different continent?!


What if people dont talk to me? What if I dont make a single friend?

It took me almost two years to get used to living in Mumbai… and for two years I hated it! I hated the people.. I hated how everyone looked down on everyone else. How school girls acted a little too old for their age. The gossip. The lying. The cheating. Making all the wrong friends before making a few good ones.

I’ll just have to leave it to God. There is nothing else I can do.