The only reason I’m writing this is because I need to stop thinking about whatever happened.

My results are here and unlike many others I have very few reasons to be happy. It was nothing close to what I expected. I didnt even cross a 60.

It feels like I’ve been pushed off a cliff and I landed down below, far away with a sickening thud.

My first thought was- I let them down. My Dad and Mom.. I let them down. I couldnt even bring a smile on Dad’s face. I’ve never said anything about it here til now.. but Dad has been going through a very very hard time for the past 4 or 5 months. He lost his job. Started his own business. Many promised to help him out and be there for him.. But one by one they went away. There are nights He cant even sleep because he gets so lonely. No one stood by him.

and I had to go and do this.

I wish I could go back and do it all over again. I wish someone would give me another chance..

but I dont think I could ever trust myself after this. I dont even feel like asking Dad to let me study further.

I wish I could somehow pay him back but what can I do? 

I wanted to do really well and leave college feeling like for once in my life I’ve achieved something.

but I look at myself and I see an empty pot broken to bits.

The game’s over and I lost.