Archive for May 29, 2007


I’ve been thinking about what it means to be holy. It goes beyond just saying the right things and being an all-round nice person. It’s more of a heart issue. You could be all clean on the outside and still be really filthy on the inside. It takes a lot of effort to keep your attitudes in check. To be truthful.
 This is something I really struggled with. I was the sort of person who could lie at the drop of a hat. I came up with the craziest lies just so that I would be accepted by people and it was only God who helped me get out of that. Today, Im at a place where even when I’m tempted to lie, I usually speak the truth and bear the conseqences…Its really difficult somettimes but I’m grateful that i’ve not been judged when I have fallen. I really am swimming in grace! 🙂
but what about those lies that we say when we dont want people to know we’ve been hurt or things like “no, that does not look bad on you.”
I’m not saying that we should be really “frank” (read: rude) and say whatever we think its right.. but what are we suposed to do????

Shannon was sharing this Sat on going back to your first love.back to the way things were . Back when your friends made fun of you for getting all ‘holy’ all of a sudden, when being in his presence meant everything. When things were a lot less complicated.. when politics in the church didnt really matter. When everything was about Christ.. Everything was for him. All you could talk about was Jesus and what he had done for you and you didnt care what people thought. I want that back. I want to go back to being a little girl.. who could trust so easily, who loved with a pure heart.. no strings attached. Back to the arms of my father… back where I belong.

Sheila is here. And right upto now, I’ve managed to drop Coffee on the couch and make peanut butter sandwiches for Sheeliya and Justin. We’re supposed to be going out for lunch to prevent the house from burning down. 😛

I am so sleepy. I really have to start sleeping better. I slept at 4 am last night and woke up 8.30 am! Even Justin is starting to get worried now. Tonight, No TV, no Sitting online, No phone calls, No yapping with Sheila, no midnight snacks.. ONLY sleep! 😀 i love sleeping…

Mom should be back on the 7th of June… thats the day that the monsoons are supposed to hit our city! Finally! Im so tired of the heat.. Its jaan-leva! *hehehe i dont really know what that means..* 😀

Im so tired…. zzzzzzzz



So, today was interesting. Went out with Oscar and Eben to the mall *again*.. Cant help it. We get bored quickly and oscar needed to buy something. I didn’t buy anything! So proud of myself! 

Today’s purpose was to get atleast one good pic of me. After many many many trials I found one..which I’ll put up later along with a video we made for the blog.

Sheila came home tonight… I met her after one whole year. And she didnt notice my braces for awhile.. maybe ppl cant see them! There is still hope for me!

I have to go find out what to do about my studying out of India thing. I’ve been trying to get out of doing anything becaue I’ve been scared of leaving home and everything I love. I dont know if I’ll be able to adjust.. I dont know if I’ll make any friends. What if people are really mean and they dont talk to me! I really dont know why im always so negative and so scared of trying anything new and different. but i have to do something. I cant sit like this any longer. Time’s running out. Dad’s getting angry. 😛

Tomorrow, I’m going to be spending the whole day with Sheila… Wonder what we’ll do. She mentioned something about ‘chaddigiri’. lets see…