Ever since Mom left, I’ve not really done anything worth mentioning. No surprise there! 😀

The night she left, I spent watching movies and reading murder mysteries up until 5 am. the real reason I didnt want to sleep was because…

…I’m afraid of sleeping in the dark all by myself.

there i’ve said it. 
now where’s that great feeling you’re supposed to get??

I dont know what I’m afraid of. I just cant sleep in complete darkness.. which is why I’m so grateful that this is a city that never sleeps. I can leave my window open at 2 am and still have enough light to walk around the place.
But, leaving the window open just wasnt enough the other night. I slept from 5 am to 6 am with my night lamp turned on. 
and last night I had it turned on the whole night up until 6 am. I’m afraid to think of what my electricity bill will be this month!

I have another confession to make. I love hindi movies. Kill me if you want.But its true. I love how stupid they are, how utterly senseless they can be. I love all of it.
I especially love Karan johar’s movies. *I wonder how many friends I’m going to have left after all this* I’ve watched most of them.. some a number of times.
Yesterday, I thought I’d add one more to the list. I rented “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna”
BIG mistake. First, the movie is like 4 hours long. F-O-U-R hours!!!!! Second, they had a “reason” for having the extra-marital affair in the first place. Their reasons didnt really make sense to me. I dont think the actors themselves understood what they were doing or why they were doing it. bad bad bad bad. It just failed to capture my heart like his other movies. (I’m glad I didnt pay like 150 bucks to watch it in a theatre!)
But it did get me thinking. About how hard it could be to keep a marriage alive. I take my mom and dad staying together for granted sometimes but it really is the grace of God. Nothing else. Just his grace.
I personally dont think that any reason is good for cheating on your spouse but I cant pretend to be an expert and hand out advice coz’ i’ve never been there. I’ve seen families break down because of it but I still dont know much about it. but the fact is its right there in front of us. its everywhere. and its scary.

Another random thought that popped into my head- this may sound really cheesy. But I’m really tired of getting emails that say that the three most beautiful words are – I love you. 
I disagree. It isnt three words. its four.
I love you too.

Whats the point of having random people tell you that they love you? Everyone does that. But to know that your love is returned… thats a great feeling. 

I miss my mom now. 

This has been quite a long post. I’ll stop here

Have a great day.
Spread some joy.
-Enit
 

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