Archive for October, 2006


He believes in you

Last night was so bad. I was going through old diary entries.. and I realised that over the past 5 years.. There hasnt been much of a change. I’m still the same person. The same struggles. The same failures.
Yes, God has changed me a lot but there’s still so much of me that needs to be different. I started to compare myself to other people who were really growing in the Lord and who were a blessing to so many. I felt so horrible about myself. I felt like I was absolutely worthless to God.
So what did I do? I sat in the dark.. eating yoghurt and cried. I talked to God the whole time and He spoke to me. I turned to Psalm 20

1  May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
       may the name of God of Jacob protect you.
2  May He send you help from the sanctuary
       and grant you support from Zion.
3  May he remember all your sacrifices
       and accept all your burnt offerings
4  May he give you the desire of your heart
       and make all your plans to succeed.
5  We will shout for joy when you are victorious
       and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
    May the Lord grant you all your requests.  

6  Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
       he answers him form his holy heaven
       with the saving power of his right hand
7  Some trust in chariots and horses,
       but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8  They are brought to their knees and fall,
      but we rise up and stand firm.

9  O Lord, save the king!
      Answer us when we call!
 

 I read this and I didnt really understand what He was trying to say to me.
So I read it again. And this time He spoke.
v6 says The Lord saves his anointed. That just said it all.
This might sound stupid to some but my name means ‘Anointed’ ( a variant of Christ) and I know that names are very important in the Bible because the name speaks of who the person is.
I substituted my name into the verse-
The Lord saves Christine,
He answers her from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand

I was trying too hard. God doesnt want me to struggle.
He asks me to trust in him. It brought to my mind this song–
    Because he believes in me, 
    I can climb any mountain
    Because He believes in me,
    I can walk on the sea
    Because he believes in me,
    I can do the impossible
    Because he believes, Because he believes in me

God believes in me and He believes in you.
Even when you find it hard to love yourself, God still does.
Nothing you ever do can shock him. He knows your every move.
He loves you… inspite of who you are and He can never stop loving you.. no matter what

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Delirious?

Delirious is coming to Mumbai! January 20th 2007. What a way to start the year! Mark your calendars everyone. You dont want to miss this.

Yikes!

I am so nervous.
I have this really tight knot in my stomach.
I have a lot of projects to be finished before Monday.
I am really really scared.

Last night was so bad. I was going through old diary entries.. and I realised that over the past 5 years.. There hasnt been much of a change. I’m still the same person. The same struggles. The same failures.
Yes, God has changed me a lot but there’s still so much of me that needs to be different. I started to compare myself to other people who were really growing in the Lord and who were a blessing to so many. I felt so horrible about myself. I felt like I was absolutely worthless to God.
So what did I do? I sat in the dark.. eating yoghurt and cried. I talked to God the whole time and He spoke to me.
I turned to Psalm 20
1 May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of God of Jacob protect you.
2 May He send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept all your burnt offerings
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans to succeed.
5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant you all your requests.

6 Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
he answers him form his holy heaven

with the saving power of his right hand
7 Some trust in chariots and horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
9 O Lord, save the king!

Answer us when we call!

I read this and I didnt really understand what He was trying to say to me.
So I read it again. And this time He spoke.

v6 says The Lord saves his anointed. That just said it all.
This might sound stupid to some but my name means ‘Anointed’ ( a variant of Christ) and I know that names are very important in the Bible because the name speaks of who the person is.

I substituted my name into the verse-
The Lord saves Christine,
He answers her from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand

I was trying too hard. God doesnt want me to struggle.
He asks me to trust in him.
It brought to my mind this song–
Because he believes in me,
I can climb any mountain
Because He believes in me,
I can walk on the sea
Because he believes in me,
I can do the impossible
Because he believes, Because he believes in me

God believes in me and He believes in you.
Even when you find it hard to love yourself, God still does.
Nothing you ever do can shock him. He knows your every move.
He loves you… inspite of who you are and He can never stop loving you.. no matter what

Theme?

OK. which theme was better? this one or the last one..

answer! …. please!

!!!!

Chris Tomlin and his band have their own BLOG!!!
how cool is that??!!
i love his songs. They’re so beautiful.. so much depth. Takes you right into the throne room of God.

The link is www.ctomlin.blogspot.com

This week seems to be so long. I dont know how I’m going to get through this week and finish my assignments on time before college reopens.
The story til now.. It is Ramzan/Eid in Saudi and so all the offices are closed and they open only on Saturday which means that they cannot get the body back to India for burial until after Saturday. Please pray. 
I really need prayer. I seem to be losing it. sometimes I’ll be laughing and giggling like nothing ever happened and then after a while I feel so burdened. I want to cry but… I feel so alone. I miss my mom. A warm hug would make me feel so much better. But then somehow in our ‘Indian’ culture we dont hug our own family too much..
My cousin is still not fine. He feels so alone and he wants all his family around him. There is a lot of responsibility on his shoulders and I think he feels the burden of all that. He’s only 19. He shouldnt have to go through this. Its just not fair.
And then you have a whole group of people who are so bitter about the whole thing that im afraid they’ll start to fight about it. Everyone is blaming everyone else. Its upsetting. This is not anybody’s fault. Why cant people just understand that? 
One thing I’m sure of is that my uncle is with his Father in heaven. He had a hard life.. very stressful and he was tired. So God called him home. Isnt that simple enough to understand?! Atleast now he wont have to work long hours in the dry desert heat. He’s resting. He’s at peace. He’s finally happy.
 
Father, I need you. We all need you. We’re so confused. Help us.

This week seems to be so long. I dont know how I’m going to get through this week and finish my assignments on time before college reopens.
The story til now.. It is Ramzan/Eid in Saudi and so all the offices are closed and they open only on Saturday which means that they cannot get the body back to India for burial until after Saturday. Please pray.
I really need prayer. I seem to be losing it. Sometimes I’ll be laughing and giggling like nothing ever happened and then after a while I feel so burdened. I want to cry but… I feel so alone. I miss my mom. A warm hug would make me feel so much better. But then somehow in our ‘Indian’ culture we dont hug our own family too much..
My cousin is still not fine. He feels so alone and he wants all his family around him. There is a lot of responsibility on his shoulders and I think he feels the burden of all that. He’s only 19. He shouldnt have to go through this. Its just not fair.
And then you have a whole group of people who are so bitter about the whole thing that im afraid they’ll start to fight about it. Everyone is blaming everyone else. Its upsetting. This is not anybody’s fault. Why cant people just understand that?
One thing I’m sure of is that my uncle is with his Father in heaven. He had a hard life.. very stressful and he was tired. So God called him home. Isnt that simple enough to understand?! Atleast now he wont have to work long hours in the dry desert heat. He’s resting. He’s at peace. He’s finally happy.

Father, I need you. We all need you. We’re so confused. Help us.

Recovering

Yesterday was such a long day. From the beginning it was all about death and sickness and bitterness. Lots of crying, pain, loneliness.
I got a call from Shannon and he told me that there was a boy from my church who died yesterday. He was only 15.. Thalassemia. I didnt know what to say. I felt so alone. That kid had to be the dearest little boy ever. He kept playing tricks on me whenever he met me. He was such a dear child. I dont know what to say. Life seems so precious now.

My cousin seems to be doing a little better although he feels lonely too..

I sat to pray last night and i knew God was there. A father to the fatherless. Comforter to the broken.This song was in my heart-

Emmanuel, Jesus Christ, You’ll never let me go
My shepherd King is watching over me
Emmanuel

–Hillsongs, God He reigns

Gos still reigns and he’s still watching over me!

Recovering

Yesterday was such a long day. from the beginning it was all about death and sickness and bitterness. lots of crying, pain, loneliness.
I got a call from shannon that there was a little boy from my church who died yesterday. he was only 15.. Thalassemia. I didnt know what to say. I felt so alone. That kid had to bve the dearest little boy ever. he kept playing tricks on me whenever he met me. He was such a dear child. I dont know what to say. Life seems so precious now.

my cousin seems to be doing a little better although he feels lonely too..

I sat to pray last night and i knew God was there. A father to the fatherless. Comforter to the broken.
This song was in my heart-

Emmanuel, Jesus Christ, You’ll never let me go
My shepherd King is watching over me
Emmanuel
Hillsongs, God He reigns

Gos still reigns and he’s still watching over me!