In the past few months, I have grown to hate mirrors. I wasn’t particularly in love with them before but now I depise them. Why? Because a mirror tells you the truth. It shows you what you want to hide from, everything that you don’t want to see. It shows you what everyone else can see. I don’t see the young, happy girl I used to be. Instead, I see someone that I never wanted to become. I never thought I’d be here. I always thought that I would someday win the battle against fat and wake up one morning looking amazing. But now I realize that my body is fighting to make sure that never happens. Unfortunately, this particular disease/syndrome/disorder/whatever the heck you want to call it doesn’t show when you look at me. All you see is someone who is now a lot larger. And you immediately want to tell her that she needs to eat healthy and exercise daily and “encourage” her with your words of wisdom.
Thank you. Very VERY much.
I did want to come home in August but I’m rethinking it.
I just want to be here in a dark room without mirrors.
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