Interestingly strange

- I love listening to music when I’m traveling. It’s something that I have always done and I don’t even have to really listen to the song, I just need it playing in the background. I could be talking to someone in person or on the phone or reading a book. Maybe people watching. I just need to have some music playing.

- When certain songs play, I look around, outside the window of the streetcar or even at the people around me in the subway and I like to pretend that we’re all in the music video together. Or if I’m walking while I’m listening to the song, I walk to the beat of the song. Does everyone do that? I wonder.

- I’m reading this book called ‘The Year of Secret Assignments’ (There was a book sale). It’s about three best friends who study together and they have an assignment in their English class where they are supposed to write letters to students of a rival school. the chapters are written either as letters or diary entries. I can’t seem to put it down… I find myself so lost in it sometimes that I feel like I am one of the characters in the book. Maybe not a main character, maybe the mother or the younger brother or the dog.. just observing, with a few lines in between. (how come I’m not a main character in my own little fantasies?! Do I have such low self-esteem?)

- What I like most about the book is the whole pen pal aspect to it. In the age of emails and facebook and twitter, a letter is so refreshing. And for as long as I can remember, I have always been fascinated by pen pals. I think I am going to look around for a website or something of the sort.

- I think the reason I’m really drawn to this book is because its a book about high school kids. Closer to my mental age.  The last few books I have been reading have something to do with pregnant women. I know so much about pregnancy now that I am quite sure I do not want children anytime soon. The whole nine months seem like such an ordeal.. I am in no way ready to go through something like that. Not to mention, I do not have the money. Do you know how expensive it is to have a baby?! Food, clothes, diapers, books, toys, diapers, cribs, strollers, diapers, lack of sleep, blankets, Johnson’s baby products, diapers!!!

- Now you’re probably wondering why I’m talking of babies when I’m nowhere close to getting married. (Or maybe you’re not thinking that… maybe you’re used to me by now) Marriage is another one of my favorite topics and every few days I make a new discovery about marriage in relation to me. Like a few weeks ago, I realized that I am not ready for a relationship because I am not spiritually or emotionally mature enough. Therefore, I conclude, that I am not ready for marriage for the same reasons plus an additional reason- financial independence and stability. Last week, it dawned on me that this whole marriage thing was a race- between me and my parents. I have to find someone before my mom does. Why? Because I am going to live with him, not her. Today, I discovered another important point- I want to be with someone that’s mysterious in a quiet, rebel kind of way. Not a rebellious rebel. (No. That did not make sense even to me) Someone who doesn’t do things because everyone else does, who swims against the current but not because he wants to be noticed. Just because that’s who he is.

-Maybe I shouldn’t have written that last paragraph. I think its only supposed to make sense in my head. Well, you’ll know when I find him.

- I decided on names for my kids a year ago… Claire and Adam. But that’s assuming that I have a girl and a boy. I didnt have names incase I had two girls or two boys. So other names that I thought would be nice- Emily and Andrew.

- Is it weird that whenever I think of my daughter I always imagine a girl with blond pigtails and blue-green eyes?

Now would be a good time to get to my assignments.
-Enit

Yesterday, I…

- went in for my placement interview. I got there an hour early, tried my best to look professional (note to self- buy dress pants) and appear like I would be suitable for the placement. The interview took all of three minutes during which we discussed how exercices leave you sore but that’s how you know its working. I have the placement and I will start volunteering there as soon as I get my off-campus placement permit. The place seems nice and friendly, there are a few Indians there and Thea is doing her placement there as well! I think it’s going to be fun!

- found a beauty salon near my placement!! CHEAP! Well not compared to B’bay but compared to the rest of Toronto… so cheap!

- shopped. Don’t look at me like that. I havent shopped in a really long time. I bought myself a pair of cute spring shoes, a beautiful hat and a dress from Old navy. That dress was originally 34$ but it was on sale for 15$ and then the sales lady said that if I gave her my email I’d get a 30% discount. I got the dress for 11 bucks in the end!!! Love it!

- had authentic sushi for dinner. Raw salmon, white fish and some other fish. I thought I might not like it but it was really good. Thea’s going to take me to an All-you-can-eat-sushi place soon. I also had chicken Teriyaki and Shrimp Tempura.. Yummmmmy!

- was waiting in line at Starbucks in the food court of the mall when Thea suddenly said, “Oh my God!”  I turned around and there was a young-ish brown guy sitting with his family. His back was towards us and I saw the biggest butt crack I have ever seen! It almost looked like he was not wearing any pants… it was that low!  SO GROSS!! Ugh! Naturally, we started laughing and then people around us started looking around to see what we were laughing at. A bunch of school girls right next to us ran away. Soon, people were walking over just to take a look. One guy asked us what was going on and when we told him, he called his girlfriend over to see. LOL.

- was so sore the whole day..(I’m still in such pain). I had a crazy 15 minute Ab workout two days ago and I havent been able to walk since because my hips are so sore. It hurts to walk up stairs, hurts to walk down stairs.. it fricking hurt to get in and out of Thea’s car. I felt like an old woman with arthritis..

- went to a fundraising party. My friend is going to Cuba over the summer to do her placement and I wanted to help. Thea and I kept each other company but we had fun. Thea taught me a new card trick and we took pics of our pretty shoes. LOL.

- got lei-d at the party. Hawaiian theme. Some guy came dressed in a T-shirt and a grass skirt; I could even see his undies! Stayed away from him all night.

- took the subway home at midnight. I thought it would be scary but there were quite a few people and I made it home before 1 a.m

- discovered that Thea and I have so much fun when we’re together. I should bring her to India with me as a treat for you guys!

Highlights of my life

- I have a week left of my mini-vacation and then its back to waking up earl(ier), long lectures, assignments, subway rides, drama, laughter, coffee and passing notes. I am so ready!

- I finally got ahead with my the process for my work permit. I was stuck for the past few days, couldnt even get past the online verification process and today I found out that the reason for that was I put Saudi Arabia as my place of birth(which is what it says on my passport) but the system couldn’t recognize me because on my study permit, my place of birth is India. So from one problem to another…!!
It would be so easy to just give up.

- I also might start with my placement sometime soon. I have an interview this week and hopefully I will make a good impression. *fingers crossed*

- I saw a girl with blue hair on the bus today!! BLUE!! Electric blue! Gives me ideas!

- Snow is back… beautiful snow. Its a little colder than usual and I’m not dressed warmly but I could care less.. SNOW!

- Grey’s Anatomy is on tonight! I think i might cry tonight.

- I miss B’bay…

but then, I always do…

Peace.

Bored

The only reason I am writing a post is because I have an hour to waste. I could’ve started on all the work I need to finish but I left all the things I need at home. Smart.
There’s nothing to do online… I dont want to play games. I dont want to read long articles or jokes. I dont want to chat. I’m tired of stalking on Facebook. I cant pick up the phone and call someone because of the stupid cell phone plans that everyone including me are suffering with! What’s a girl to do??
I’m left to ‘listen’ to music videos on youtube. What a waste. I could’ve slept a few more hours instead of showing up at 9 fricking am!
Darn..

Its like this

-I believe after all the depressing posts lately, I need to blog about random things on my mind. Just to get things off my mind. How ironic.

- I’m done with week one of my three week vacation. I am tired of it already. I’m a people person which means I need people around me. Lots of people. I can’t deal with this being by myself thing.

- I keep listening to Rehab by Rihanna. Its not like I relate to the song. Don’t think I’ve ever felt like that about anyone.

- I’ve read the first two books in the Twilight series. I am a little ashamed of myself. I had promised myself that I would not read it and now that I have.. I enjoyed it. She has a great captivating style of writing.

- I haven’t shopped. I’m a little proud of myself. Although shopping does involve leaving the house occasionally which again I have not been doing.

- This entire weekend has been devoted to tea, movies, playing nurse ( well trying to at least) and living like a bum which translates into really messy room.

- I think I’ve lost weight. Oscar thinks so too and my clothes seem to support his theory. Walter, on the other hand, does not think so. Oh well.

- I need to find placement soon. I also have to apply for my work permit, my placement permit and finish all my assignments that are due in two weeks. Ugh.

- I don’t think my meds are working.

- I miss being with sheila. I love talking to her and although are mostly clueless about how to deal with our own lives… we almost have great advice for each other.

- I want an Ipod touch.

- I miss the monocles. I want game night!

- I’m thinking of getting caramel highlights in my hair. just a thought.

- I want skirts. I also want sweaters, dresses, stilettos and perfume from D&G.

- To sheila, STAY AWAY from Red wine.

- I want to go home.

Why I’m me

With the passing of every day, I find myself surrounded by something new to be worried about, something new that frustrates and every single time I let it get to me.
Picture being seated in an exam hall, looking at a question paper that has one difficult question after another. Any normal person would feel overwhelmed if they had no idea what the answer was.
But that’s just it. I know the answer! I KNOW THE ANSWER!!! But in my small, silly mind I like to pretend that I don’t know what to do. I like to get upset, worried, depressed, annoyed. I write down all the wrong answers knowing my paper is going to come back with a big zero. I turn to look into the answer sheets of someone else who is probably in a worse condition than I am. In fact, since I already know the answer, I could actually help them too. But I choose to try their flawed method of analysis. Get myself dragged in deeper until I don’t really know how to get out.

The answer seems far away. Time is running out. I’m stuck.